ghost

Sometimes when I’m with or speaking to other people, I feel like I’m just falling through them, either through the things that are said or the moment itself. As if I’m not really there. And when I come out of the other side, I discover that it’s just me and I’m alone, surrounded by infinite space.

I know I’m not looking for anything in particular, nor am I moved to actively fill those gaps. It comes and goes, this curious feeling of a loneliness that isn’t, but sometimes I become starkly aware of it, like waking up after years of sleep and realizing with a sinking feeling how much time you couldn’t experience was lost.

What’s crucial to my personal evolution is not fixating on an endless search to feel whole because it assumes I’m less of a person when I’m without. Those empty spaces are very much a part of a whole. It’s good to recognize them, to allow their existence, and to acknowledge them for their potential: room for growth.